Floundering

Trying to understand what is just beyond us may be called floundering after the 'x' factor. Floundering is a bit like splashing about in a swimming pool. But floundering is also a necessary precondition to new vision, better vision and growth.

I suppose we can come to the cutting edge of 'Lifeness' through a careful build-up of captured and understood bits of Reality, or through a sudden mad dash. I notice that a genuine contemplation of everlastingness alters the shape of my vision and purpose, so that I guess that a contemplation of the 'X' factor, or fact, may also alter something that I can't explain until it happens.

'X' is a shut-off. All our sense of understanding can build to what we call Being - Consciousness - Bliss ('BCB') and that is exactly as it should happen. But it is quite natural to feel a great wonder about 'how anything so wonderful ever got started in the first place'.

To look 'X' straight in the face for a while seems to increase the appreciation of the 'BCB' factor or, more succinctly, the 'BC' factor. I don't mean to go on splitting hairs for the sake of it, but I am drawing attention to the principle of contrast in connection with waking up. (I am also giving free rein to my instinctive flounderings to see where they take me.)

We can grasp 'BC' (Being Consciousness), but there are degrees of that grasping. I wonder if looking at X increases the appreciation of 'BC', in the same way that looking at everlastingness, or 'E-X', increases our appreciation of NOWness, or 'N-X'.

There seems to be some connection of this X-ness with....

X + E-X = N-X

(The unknowable with the addition of an everlasting approach to itself, gives the most mysterious and potent form of nowness.)

This is permanent aspiration....which makes one feel quite tired even thinking about it....so long as X is unbelievably 'Beautiful'. Beautiful, in this sense, is a step beyond the amalgam of all valuable qualities.
In other words, there is so much more to be appreciated in NOWness than we have yet begun to wonder about, and it is this most profound appreciation and tasting of the NOW that is also the most profound form of Being Awake. The unknown as unknowable is with us NOW and will for ever lead us on towards knowing IT. For 'IT' has to be something very wonderful indeed and must have the seed of our equation, above, within it.

My own attempt to do this was to paint and photograph 'Flowerness' through attending to flowers. There is beauty hiding there which draws me by it's over and above- and beyond- and is an everlasting smile- and always offering the Absolute best..... SO FAR.

This 'so far' is also a clue to 'God being everything, so why does He bother?' question. God is a LIVING God not a 'done it all, that's it, God,' and so He flounders at the 'not yet done' as we are doing now. As we can say, 'It's just for Fun-Delight,' and, 'I can't stand being bored,' reasons. This is also a clue to 'X', I suspect, in that however IT arose, it arose with this kick behind it. But that makes no sense. Nothing makes sense when we try to understand how the 'Seed of all Seeds of lifeness and consciousness' got started. It feels so strange to me that we can grasp this concept with our awareness, which arises from the answer, and yet get no answer.

I don't intend to go on beating my head against this, but I quite enjoy grasping the bones of it and clarifying it to the best of my ability. It seems to be part of the same package that enables me to enjoy the light and colour and shape of flowers in the N-X of now. I detect a big amused smile being directed on me from SOMEONE ! It's a loving smile and also says, 'I like you to be like this, so that we get a really hot game going between us'

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE IT GOES SO LONG AS IT'S HOT.

Have you noticed that when we do something that is really fun a great feeling of love arises at the same time? Super fun produces super love.

It's not easy to produce super fun because it's God's extreme delight, but it's a super challenge!